wllll 发表于 2021-3-14 14:00   全显示 1楼
挺好的,加油作者。就是感觉剧情没有什么变化。个人感觉哦,如果把节奏加快,尽快回到妈妈跟赵斐出酒店那段会比较好。因为大家看色文主要看个剧情,文笔细节啥的其实不太关注。或者开一下别的支线,比如之前在公交车站有同学搭讪妈妈的,后来没有继续写。
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